Home business, home education and health challenges: what makes us tic?

This week’s clangers

I’ve always enjoyed listening to the hilarious things the girls say. I try as hard as I can to record these epithets for posterity, but there are so many of them that I often miss the best ones. Whenever I can, I usually post the best comments to Facebook. The simple reason for this is that a lot of their best stuff comes out when I’m hiding behind my computer, cleverly disguised as a workaholic, and they think I can’t hear what they’re saying.

This week has two highlights I just have to record here. The first is from DD1. We were sorting out the kids’ clothes cupboard recently, deciding what to give to the orphanage, and what we should keep. They’re outgrown a lot of their stuff, and for the most part it was easy to identify what was too big and what was too small. However, young DD2 is about to leap upwards in a growth spurt. As a result, she’s filled out a lot, and because it happened pretty much overnight, we weren’t sure which of her clothes still fitted her, and which were too small. This meant she had to try everything on, just to be sure. She pulled on one of her favourite T-Shirts and found that, even though the length was right, it was “too squidgy around the tummy”. In a deadpan aside, DD1 leaned over to me and said, “I think she needs to lay off the nuts, if you know what I mean.”

*Snicker*. I had to leave the room for that one.

Then today, DD2 marched up to me and demanded, “Mom, did you know that there was a MAGGOT in our room today?” Revolted, I admitted that I had had no idea of this, and asked who had despatched it for them. She proudly jerked a thumb towards her chest and said, “I did.” I remarked that I thought that was very brave, and asked her what it had been doing. To which she replied, (with very lifelike actions), “not much. It was just sitting there, going squidgy-squosh!squidgy-squosh!”

Ah, and one more before I forget: in a couple of days/weeks we have to dissect a cow’s eyeball for school. We all know about it because it’s so very horrendous and none of us can bare to think about (which we now do – constantly). And of course, everyone who hears about it takes great delight in telling us all the grim and creepy things to AVOID doing so as not to have cow-eyeball-jelly wherever you don’t want it. *Shudder*. Last night DD1 was explaining the whole thing to her aunty, and explaining how very grossed out we all are. She ended off with, “the only one who’s NOT grossed out is the cow – she’s long gone already!”.

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