For some reason, even though last week was a VERY good week, this week has launched itself with a very blue Monday indeed. Despite the fact that I always sleep on the same side of the bed, and never change sides, and particularly last night had a good, long sleep on MY side of the bed (which is patently the RIGHT side of the bed, even though it’s the left side, since it is, after all, MY side), I have somehow managed to wake up on the wrong side of the bed. This may have something to do with a dismal lack of sleep and cash flow, combined with a serious attack of candida. I really need to take care of that.
Today, I feel overwhelmed. Even though we’ve finished the dreaded MUSIC study unit (dreaded because, as much as I LOVE the subject, I am much less clued up on it than had thought, and trying to impart a love of classical music to disenchanted under-tenners proved rather trying), the prospect of the week ahead looks bleak. The prospect of dissecting a cow’s eye in four days’ time isn’t helping.
But it’s not the gross out factor or the lack of sleep that’s getting to me. It’s an overwhelming sense of dread that I don’t know what I’m doing, and I’m getting it all wrong. I won’t drag it out, but suffice it to say I sent a desperate plea via email to the curriculum providers, explaining how clueless I am and asking what I’m doing wrong. That was just before my email stopped working, so I haven’t had a reply yet.
The very trying thing about today is that my darling daughters are, well, not their usual, perfect selves. (My husband says I expect too much from them. I wonder …. Nah!). They both took ages and ages to get through the miniscule amount of work I gave them. Neither one listened, choosing to play instead during all the reading bits of the lessons. When I gave them actual work (draw and lable an eye ball), they spontaneously developed mysterious physical ailments: blinding headaches and convenient right arm pain and paralysis. Now, far be it from me to underestimate the extent of their suffering in any way, but it is telling that they’re both in perfect health now that “school” is done for the day. There was giggling and laughter and complete distraction throughout the morning, and DD#2 managed to acquire a fairly serious reversals problem. In fact, I wonder if we don’t have a case of dyslexia on our hands. Just what I need! (Since it is, after all, all about me).
I hardly need to mention that I gave up before we even started Maths. Phonics and basic biology will have to suffice, just for today.
It’s ironic (that’s a nice word. I have others.) that they both brought out this delightful range of … interesting … behaviours and diseases just today, when I am in so much doubt over what I am doing and how I am doing it. Did they pick up on my state of mind, or contribute to it?
We’ll have to see what tomorrow brings, and what response I get from my curriculum providers. In the mean time, it’s 2:15pm and I have ten hours of work ahead of me. Best get to it.