I’ve been so busy that I haven’t had time to blog in ages. I’m working on a post carrying on from The Blessing Dare, and I really want to talk about who owns whom in life. but those will have to wait, and so will others. I have to knuckle down and get some real work done at the moment, or the end of this year will be a bleak affair indeed.
However, I recently stumbled across this inspiring post that really caught my attention, and I highly recommend that you read it. The author, Rachel Jankovic, explains how motherhood is a calling, and how important it is to decide where your children rank in your life.
If you ask me, I will always say that my children come first in my life (after God and my husband, naturally). Certainly, my thoughts always go to them first and I spend a lot of my waking energy panic-stricken about their safety. (I wonder now whether that isn’t a very prideful substitute for good parenting – if I worry all the time that makes me a good mom, right?).
Having said that, I must admit that I have sometimes resented the kids for “holding me back” – from studying further; from having a clean and tidy house; from being fit and healthy; from having a schedule that works and is predictable and consistent. As I talk to God about my frustrated desire to be serving Him in full-time ministry, He gently and persistently points out that I am in full-time ministry. My kids are my mission field and I must not miss the opportunity to serve Him there!
I really feel like I’ve been given an ice-cold wake-up call today. Where do my kids REALLY rank in my priorities? Yes, I home educate them. Yes, I spend hours researching their various challenges and then finding and implementing potential solutions to these challenges. Yes, I work hard to provide for them and not let them go hungry or cold. But how much time do I spend with them? Just being with them – playing, chatting, whatever they want to do. Very little indeed, as it happens. And that’s the thing they always ask me for.