Home business, home education and health challenges: what makes us tic?

Suffocating
Drowning
Stuck.
Unable to move.
Deep grey fog engulfs me
and I cannot see the way.
How did I ever have hope
before?
How was there ever
any joy?
The world fails utterly to have meaning.
Not even black –
(that, at least, has a certain ebony elegance,
a dark and thrilling excitement) –
But no. Not for me.
Deep pitch is a luxury
I clearly don’t deserve.
The grey and countourless mist
permeates
my life
to its farthest reaches.
Flat.
Nothing has shape. Nothing has meaning.
Nothing is true.
As if the misery weren’t enough,
the sheer boredom
of
all
this
grey
threatens to overwhelm …
drown.
Suffocate.

Like a blanket fort,
warm and neutral and breathless
(and probably of my own making)
dark and quiet despair encloses me
in its familiar, ancient arms.

Light!
Someone lifts the lower edge
of the heavy grey drapes.
A laser-point of sharp white light
assaults my eyeballs.
I recoil …
for a moment …
and then I am awake.
The stupor dissipates so quickly
I doubt its very existence.
No matter, I don’t have time to contemplate the dark.
Everything is light!
Joy suffuses the earth with fireworks of light and colour and sound and happiness and productivity and being capable and achieving things and having things to say and saying them and doing things and being awesome, generally.

(This is me, truly.
(Surely?)
That dark and grey and lonely tortoise
lurking purposelessly in her shell …
that was just a short (and justifiable, right?)
detour
from the Me I Am.)

Never mind that.
Coffee!
I needs it.
Ooh, time to start running.
Let’s meet friends.
Let’s finish all the things
and find some more
to do.
Sleep?
Bah!
Who needs it?
There’s so much LIVING to do.
I’ll sleep when I’m dead.
Run! Speak! See! EXPERIENCE!
The world is light and colour and joy and BEING!

Yes, this is me.
Truly.

Wait …
what’s that in the corner,
over there?

Excuse me,
has someone lost a bit of fog?
Only, it’s lying on the floor
messing things up
(and it surely isn’t mine).
Could you come and get it?
Only –
it’s getting bigger.

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Comments on: "Black and White, Dark and Light" (1)

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