Home business, home education and health challenges: what makes us tic?

So, my kids are in school.

It’s been 2 weeks, and I know what you’re thinking: “What?! Aren’t you the homeschooling, working-from-home, housekeeping Stepford Mama of great awesomeness??” (I paraphrase, of course).

The thing is, no. I’m not. I thought I was. I thought I ought to be. I wanted to want to be, if that makes sense. I wanted it so badly ….

But it turns out that it can’t be done. At least, not by me. And I do have to feed and clothe and house my kids (aka: work for a living). So I had to choose. Do I home educate, something I love and believe in and am passionate about and also suck at, a little bit? Or do I cave to the pressure, focus on building a sustainable income without destroying my health, and outsource the educational aspect of parenting.

Woah. I can hardly believe I even said that. It’s true though: it is what it is.

This big step has also brought me face-to-face with some home truths about myself, the most significant being that I have a lot less time than I prefer to imagine. I keep operating on the assumption that I have endless energy so I can just keep working around the clock and everything will be fine.

But I don’t.
At least, not always.

So I made a very hard choice and sent the kids to school.

It’s a VERY small home school around the corner from us, so it’s not a complete and total and utter sell out. There are just five kids, and it seems very homey and happy and NICE.

And now I have time to focus, work, be productive and earn a living.

All I have to do now is learn how to be good at stuff. And persuade people to pay me for that. *Sigh*

But admitting I can’t do it all is probably wise and sane and mature and good (at least, that’s what I’m telling myself).

We’ll see how it goes.

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