Home business, home education and health challenges: what makes us tic?

A question for the collective wisdom of anyone who happens to read this:

We’re involved in some home school groups which subscribe to a much more traditional approach to schooling than we prefer. It’s their choice, obviously. Red Riding Hood also prefers more structure, and measurable outcomes – that sort of thing. (Sorry – tangent.)

So, at a group activity a few weeks ago, two of the moms were overseeing a craft activity. (I didn’t know about it or I’d have been there too.) One of them needed an eraser and asked my daughter to get it. But the way she asked was, “You get it!”, with a ‘playful smack’ on the thigh.

Did I mention my aspie daughter is tactile defensive AND averse to loud noises?

When she told me about it later, she broke down crying.

I don’t know that mom beyond the most basic acquaintance, and I didn’t see her until ten days later – at an outing, surrounded by kids and chaos. I didn’t have an opportunity to bring it up. She’s one of those “can do” people who believes kids should be toughened up, and frankly I have no idea how to address it with her. I doubt she’ll even remember, and I suspect that if I mentioned it, she’d be inclined to repeat similar acts – behind my back – since my child “obviously needs toughening up” and isn’t getting it at home.

Perhaps I’m projecting here.

This is the kind of thing that made me take the kids out of school in the first place. I am highly confrontation-averse, but I just want to punch this woman in the face!

Sorry this is so long, but I’d be very grateful for some insight.

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Comments on: "Toughen up – or tough enough?" (2)

  1. The idea that kids need to be “toughened up” can be very damaging to autistic children; they require gradual and controlled exposure to overcome sensitivities, not sudden and severe exposure.
    A lot of these “old school” parents are just reenacting how their parents treated them; in the 1960s. Needless to say, times have changed, and they need to understand that their approach has become outdated and does more harm than good.

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