Today we got to the front gate of our property, about to head out and do Saturday-type parent-y stuff. The gate wouldn’t open. It does this sometimes. Because we live at the top of a very steep and twisty driveway, “running up tot he house” to get something is a chore. It’s an especially daunting challenge for people sporting our current fitness levels. (Let’s just say: standing upright is a particular challenge for people sporting our current fitness levels.)
Thus, a gate that doesn’t open needs to be solved with tools one finds to hand. Dried husks of hydrangea are about as good as it gets – and a lot less useful than you’d imagine.
As he got out of the car, he was exercising a mammoth amount of self-control, and simply said, “Please excuse me while I … ” He couldn’t finish the sentence without expletives, so he got out and tended to the recalcitrant metal monster barring our exit for the day.
Meanwhile, young Red Riding Hood piped up sardonically, “Please excuse me while I step outside to practise my French.”