Some days are bright rays of sunshine.
Some days are full of joy and sparkles.
Some days include movies – in the cinema – and bacon nachos and chocolate cupcakes and sleep overs with BFFs.
Some days, baby girls turn NINE YEARS OLD and wrap the universe around their little diva fingers and spread happiness with every batted eyelash.
Some days spill over into others like too much honey and infect whole weekends with their sweet, warm, indolent light.
Some days are less so.
Some days, brilliant minds are overwhelmed by too much of everything.
Too many ideas.
Too many options.
Too much to do.
Too much lack.
Those days are hard.
It seems like the brief melt down, substantial as ash (and as black) has swallowed up the mellifluous days of celebration that went before and left only cold emptiness in its wake.
Some days, we are so blessed. We have so much.
Some days, it is too much.
When I posted yesterday’s post about doing one thing at a time, I went off on a tangent and completely lost the focus and point of the post. Let me back track a little and explain where I should have been headed with that.
There is SO much I want to do in life. By my calculations I’m between a third of the way and half way through this mortal coil, and I have accomplished less than that percentage of what I had set out to do at the start (when I became self-aware). I want to learn to play guitar (and piano, ‘cello and violin). I want to learn to speak Zulu fluently – not to mention Spanish, Italian and French. I want to be able to bake anything, draw perfectly, paint like a Renaissance Master, and dance. I want to plant a garden that survives my efforts, have a thriving vegetable and herb patch (that sustains us), build a fish pond and give the girls horse-riding lessons. I want to travel the world. I want to knit toys and blankets and clothes, learn to crochet, and make gifts with that skill. I want to write a book. (Well, books, plural). I want to … well, you get the drift. There’s a LOT I want to do, and in between all of that my deepest desire is to be doing full-time missions work in some remote location (that miraculously has both electricity and internet!). It’s not even that I’m an overachieving perfectionist. It’s just that those things all sound so cool, and we only have a short time here, so why not make the most of it, right?
What invariably happens is that I become so overwhelmed with the range of options and the complete lack of a starting point that I sit in mute horror staring at the whizzing-by-ness of my life, not doing anything at all. In other words, I don’t accomplish a single thing on my list, which is worse than only accomplishing some of it.
That’s what led me to the one-thing-at-a-time philosophy. I have picked a few key things, and I am starting with those. So this week, DD#1 will start learning to write letters. DD#2 will gain a little inner peace when she worries about the Lost. I will start to learn to draw butterflies. And we have all started learning Zulu. We can now say:
- Sawubona (Hello).
- Unjani? (How are you?)
- Ngiyabonga. (Fine thank you).
- Ngubani igama lakho? (What is your name?)
- Igama lami ngu [Name]. (My name is [Name]).
- Sala kahle. (Go well/goodbye).
- Hamba kahle. (Stay well/goodbye).
It’s not much and it’s far from perfect but it’s a start, and that is the key thing. It is a lot more Zulu than we could speak a week ago.